There's No Place Like HOMECOMING

***Sidenote: yes, I know that homecoming was over a month a go. But if you spent a day in my life you would understand how easily things get procrastinated off to almost non-existence.


There are few things in life like high school homecoming week. It's a combination of high energy, high stress, and just high excitement, and most of the time, you're too tired to even understand all of the "highs" you're feeling. And I'm sure I'm partial to my own Alma Mater, buuuuuutt I think we all know who has the best homecoming around. So here's what my week looked like.

Actual homecoming day. Cheerleaders and Dorians in our hip hop gear (note: we are all very, very white school.) And the "commoners" looking precious and classy.

PREGAME: As a cheerleader (name drop), I would say about, ehh, 50% of homecoming is our responsibility. As for the Homecoming pep rally, I would say it's about 90% our responsibility. So needless to say we started WEEKS before the day, getting decorations, routines, and a killer run through ready for the mayhem. I know you're thinking, "Allison, I know you think cheerleading is hard and everything, but y'all don't really do everything. And it can't be that stressful." And to that I say, "Well lets see what would happen if cheerleaders did nothing. And tell that to girl who had a mental breakdown about turtle tards on Homecoming Eve. Yes, TURTLE TARDS." Were talking daily 3 hour practices for 3 weeks before homecoming. That's 3 hours of nothing but blue mats, glitter, paint, and 32 different opinions about how things should be done. AHHHH.


But don't get me wrong; it's a labor of pure and utter love.


SUNDAY: The first ever JUNGLE JAM. Let me explain what Jungle Jam is to all you newbies. It was the day we 1) finished the run through sign 2)finished the decorations 3) delivered the cookie cakes. At the time, I thought that another 7 hours in the cheer dungeon would be a nightmare, but it was only like a bad dream at times. BUT we actually got stuff done. So our routine was perfect, our decorations were done, our run through was done, AND we we had the game plan set before the week even started. I think I can speak for every single MBHS cheerleader from the beginning of time when I say that I didn't even think that was possible.

MONDAY: Homecoming week officially commences with my favorite dress up day of the year, PJ day. Yes, it is on a Monday for obvious reasons, and no, it wasn't my first time to wear something to school that I had slept in the night before. It also was the homecoming carnival aka the most underrated part of the week. Everyone says that it's lame and that no one ever goes, but I absolutely LOVE it. And this year, as Secretary of Spartan Pride, I was enlisted to help my friends, Al-dog and Hannah (Co-Presidents), grill out hamburgers. My other friends were also recruited and so all 15 of us worked non-stop grilling, wrapping, throwing burgers to impress those condemned to the never ending line, and in true Brookie fashion, swing dancing. Must I mention again how my friends are the bomb?


TUESDAY: Hippie day. This means tye dye, peace signs, fringe, flip flops, and in my case, a psychedelic shirt my mom got as a Halloween costume a couple of years ago. All of my friends told me I looked ridiculous, and normally, on a dress up day, I would have taken it as a complement. But then all the teachers/principal told me how much they loved it. Needless to say, that shirt will never see the light of day again.


And that night was the one that every girl dreams of for a full 364 days, and if you're a sophomore, you've been looking forward to it ever since you first started facebook stalking the girls a year or two older than you. POWDERPUFF. Being the ballin seniors we are, we pre-gamed with a tailgate, cut up our shirts, doned eye black, and took about, oh say, a gagillion pictures. We even had a run through sign that I was relieved to not even touch for once. Some guys took up the roll of cheerleaders and held hands and ran in front, meanwhile we tried our best to look like the intimidating people we aren't and do the football pre-game hype yell. Even though I will argue sports to you until your ear is on the ground, my athletic prowess is non-existant. During the game, I stood on the sidelines just talking and getting table topped*. But have no fear, the seniors won (shocker).

You better watch your back, everyone who isn't a senior.

*Table Topped: (noun, verb). Attacker #1 crouches behind unsuspecting victim, meanwhile Attacker #2 pushes unsuspecting victim down over #1 onto his or her back.


WEDNESDAY: The chill, no activity night of homecoming designated for working on floats. That day was salad dressing dress-up, and let me explain what exactly this day connotates...Sophomores are ranch, therefore cowboy attire required; Juniors are 1000 island, so luau attire; Seniors are Greek, so we got to walk around awkwardly in sheets all day and call them "togas". I love this day, but togas just get on my nerves because some people (myself) can't tie a toga to save our lives, in addition to other everyday challenges like walking. 


That night we had senior dance practice, the moment everyone looks forward to, both dancers and viewers alike. But no one ever mentioned how stinking stressful it was!!!! So after another long practice, I come home to 40 offensive linemen eating dinner at my house. Not unusual at all. Gotta love insane football moms planning elaborate dinners for their precious little man-eating boys!


THURSDAY: Animal dress up day. I went as a mouse and didn't wear pants. And it was awesome.


That night was my mental breakdown night and was at the school until 9PM. I wont go into details about what went down but let's just say it was about that turtle tard thing I mentioned earlier, how to suspended a massive runthrough sign in the air above blenchers, pregame meal punctuality, and of course, the senior dance from hell.

I promise the routine was not this strange looking.

FRIDAY: The day has arrived and I awoke at 5:45 to get ready. Our 7AM call time was especially fantastic on this gray morning and everyone was in especially chipper moods. No worries, the cheerleaders were all enthusiastic by 8:30, and the turtle tard crisis was solved. (Here's the gist of that...There was discussion of whether to wear them or not. I said yes, because they looked better. No one believed me. Then they saw them the next day, and decided I was right. Roll tide.) The pep rally rolled around at 10 and students filled the Spartan arena, still fresh in their dress to impress attire and especially after our big Hoover win. We did the usual...ballin' routine, exceptional dance, cutting it close senior dance, senior superlatives, homecoming court announcement, etc. Oh yeah. I also gave a speech. In front of 2000 people. And I made up a word. But don't worry, everyone caught it and laughed hysterically at me.

Morgan: "This is not happening. GIVE ME THE MIC ALLISON."
Allison: "Well shat." (Facepalm).
Laine: "I''m just going to smile and pretend like this is not happening."

Then one of my absolutely favorite parts: THE PARADE!!! Where else do you get to practice your disney princess/college cheerleader superstardom and enthusiasm? You also take a lot of cute, all-American high schooler pictures that you put up facebook so everyone can see how absolutely precious you are.

I love these sweet girls so so so much.

The game was that night and we unsurprisingly killed Buckhorn. It was cold, still slightly rainy, and senior night...so I was frigid, frizzy haired, and emotionally drained. I finally got to wear my giant flower and have Marilyn and Cecil walk me out onto the field, and this time, I didn't taint my public image. HOORAY. 

Crying is for wennies.

Finally, the best part of the day (allegedly), the dance. About 40 people filled my house, getting ready, taking pictures, eating, and watching football. Pretty much a typical night at my house, except everyone looked particularly snazzy. We all caravanned to the danced and literally threw it down like it was the last time. Wait...ok, blocking out all "lasts" starting NOW. Let me take this time to explain how Mountain Brook dances work: there is no DJ playing top 20, it is a soul jazz band. Everyone swing dances and it is the single best thing ever. Good thing my date was a fantastic dancer, (and voted "Cutest" by the senior class. OHMMGEE i ToOk ThE cUtEsT bOy In ThE gRaDe To Hc!!!!!) and also good thing I'm not to shabby myself.

As the dance concluded, all friends gathered to Laine's house for a night of excessive eating, and the usual antics. Also a showing of Remember the Titans, The Hangover, and a three time encore of my performance from earlier in the day at the pep rally. Curse the day the flip camera was invented and was adapted to play instantly on TV's. I went to bed finally at 4:30AM, after being up for about 23 hours straight. And when I say I "went to bed", I mean all the other girls and myself collapsed at various, odd locations, only to awake at 11:30 the next morning dazed and confused.

Don't let our classiness fool you, these girls can throw down like there's no tomorrow.

I still can't believe this was my last homecoming ever. From stupid cheerleading arguments, to powderpuff games, to excessive swing dancing and cookie cakes, and to waving at little girls during the parade who you used to be, it's one of those things you can't forget. Not like you would want to, unless you're an anti-social, school-hating, dedicated to dieting, perfectionistic  dipwad.


Click your heels three times, and it's over before you realize it.
Allie


Xerxes: There will be no glory in your sacrifice. I will erase even the memory of Sparta from the histories! Every piece of Greek parchment shall be burned. Every Greek historian, and every scribe shall have their eyes pulled out, and their tongues cut from their mouths. Why, uttering the very name of Sparta, or Leonidas, will be punishable by death! The world will never know you existed at all!"
King Leonidas: The world will know that free men stood against a tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this battle was over, even a god-king can bleed.
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