out of all the things I am forced to go through during my academic career, standardized testing is definitely top of the list of things i absolutely detest. personally, I just find it stupid and ridiculous to spend an entire year in a classroom or pay hundreds of dollars in tutoring just to take a 4 hour test. and then that one test is all the colleges seem to look at.
honestly, tell me one person who can sit and focus for a test that long and that boring? literally during the essay part of the AP history exam, I was thinking of ways that I could prevent me from having to finish the entire 3 essays in a 2 hour time frame. they ranged from just drawing a smiley face on the sheet and leaving it at that to hyperventilating and staging a dramatic faint (along with topling a few of the tables over in the process. you know, just to add to the effect). I also honestly thought about writing, "I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THIS AT ALL AND I JUST WANT TO LEAVE THIS ROOM" because I'm pretty sure both myself and the person grading my wonderful exam probably feel the same way.
after all my years of standardized testing, from SAT's and ARMT starting in 3rd grade all the way to AP tests and the ACT currently, I realize I follow the same process of test taking...
stage 1: motivation. "I can do this. 36 all the way. college here I come!"
stage 2: continued self encouragement. or also known as #20-40 of the math section of the ACT. "oh no this is getting harder. don't worry Allison, you know this. you didn't go to all those study sessions for nothing."
stage 3: just push through. "ok this sucks. I realize and I accept that I probably will not reach that orginal highly overexaggerated goal. just try to focus for the next 2 hours and then you'll be done and you can go eat.
stage 4: angry depression. "I hate everything. I hate the little girl in this passage that I am reading. I hate the silence. I hate the supervisor in here who gets to play angry birds the entire time I am being tortured."
stage 5: delirum/ musical stylings. (while humming the entire aaron carter soundtrack) "long hair, don't care. I don't need college anyways. I'll just be an air traffic controller and live off airplane peanuts."
and finally stage 6: I'm 17 and I do what I want and I do not care anymore. "time to play the 'how many words can i make out of the letters A, B, C, D, and E' game!"
so this week, between the hours of 8 AM and 11:30 AM on wednesday, think of me as I take my AP english test and make up metaphors and plotlines that do not exist in order to make my essay sound slightly more credible. and just in case you were wondering, I did in fact make up a tax break for Nixon's presidency, along with the entire history of slavery in the US for my history exam. rty.
deuces y'all.
"Life's more painless for the brainless." -Wicked, the Musical
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