Monday morning unfolded itself in a rainy, windy haze customary of November in Alabama. Because I identify myself as the "good" student who wouldn't dream of skipping a lecture, that left me trudging across campus to go sit and cry at a Loony Toons' Wagner opera parody in Intro to Listening. The theme for this morning that reverberated through my mind was, "the struggle is real".
As our instructor discussed the Romantic era ending with the onslaught and horror of World War I, he also slipped in a side note about his own father who stormed the beaches at Normandy and took part in the liberation of Dachau. After returning from the war, his father carried a picture of the mutilation he found at the camp as a daily reminder to give his son (my professor) the best life possible. At first I was confused about why he would desire to tote an object reminiscent of such a horrific event, even if it fueled his motivation to provide for the next generation. After a moments worth of pondering, I slowly realized that we all, as humans, are designed to be carriers. Not just with tangible items like photographs or notes or tokens but more so with experiences and the emotions that coincide. The memories or thoughts we carry define our actions and our future; we continue to clutch onto these grudges or reminders as we walk amongst the earth whether we intend to or not.
I might not have a picture of my worst moment stowed away in my pocket at all times, but that doesn't mean it isn't always with me. The same sinking feeling still enters my stomach, the dread still takes over, and the unquenchable ache of inferiority still permeates my being to the core, all at the mere memory. If a situation in any way similar arises, my instinct is to coil back in the recollection and to attempt to hide myself from it's sting.
Part of our music lesson this morning was learning about the life of Johannes Brahms, one of the greatest composers of the Romantic era who got his start playing in the brothels of Hamburg. It wasn't until he was 44 years old that he published his first symphony due to the tremendous self doubt and inadequacy that still lingered from his lack of professional training that most conductors had the opportunity of receiving. While Brahms was a fantastic mind of the 19th century, the doubt he carried restricted him within the walls of his own insecurity, faltering his own growth.
Some things we carry build us up and give us strength for the road ahead; strength we know exists because we've witnessed it in action before. In contrast, some things teach us to not make the same mistakes again. Some things remind us to fight for a better day and not for just ourselves. Some things hold us back, or better yet, we allow to hold us back.
We choose to cower or to confront daily; to yield to our fears or embrace our courage.
To drag along our pain or to push forward our promise.
And here lies the true beauty of the things we carry; we are free to choose the cargo.
To the Moon and Back,
Allie
Part of our music lesson this morning was learning about the life of Johannes Brahms, one of the greatest composers of the Romantic era who got his start playing in the brothels of Hamburg. It wasn't until he was 44 years old that he published his first symphony due to the tremendous self doubt and inadequacy that still lingered from his lack of professional training that most conductors had the opportunity of receiving. While Brahms was a fantastic mind of the 19th century, the doubt he carried restricted him within the walls of his own insecurity, faltering his own growth.
Some things we carry build us up and give us strength for the road ahead; strength we know exists because we've witnessed it in action before. In contrast, some things teach us to not make the same mistakes again. Some things remind us to fight for a better day and not for just ourselves. Some things hold us back, or better yet, we allow to hold us back.
We choose to cower or to confront daily; to yield to our fears or embrace our courage.
To drag along our pain or to push forward our promise.
And here lies the true beauty of the things we carry; we are free to choose the cargo.
To the Moon and Back,
Allie
"Though
we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us
whether we find it or not."
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
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